There were many reasons that we chose to buy a house. Interest rates were at historic lows. Rent kept rising (and finding a new rental with a large dog was next to impossible). We scrimped and saved enough to have a decent down payment. For the first time in a long time we knew that the city we were living in wasn't just a temporary stop, that we'd be here for a while. Buying was the next logical step.
And honestly, after infertility, after officially closing the door on parenthood, I needed something big, something positive, something special. A fresh start of sorts.
So we looked (and looked and looked and looked) and eventually we found the house that would become ours. It felt like home the minute we walked in to the open house. The vintage 1950s glass door knobs sealed the deal.
Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of buying our house.
One of my hopes was that our house would be a place of healing, and it has been. I feel comfortable here. Happy. At ease. Safe. Stable. For the first time in a long time.
There will be no negative pregnancy tests here. Or ovulation tracking. Or sex when we don't feel like it. Or month after month of disappointment. Or conversations about how far we want to go down the fertility treatment path. And no envisioning any of the rooms as a future baby's room.
I'm also proud. We've done all of the work so far ourselves. With our own blood, sweat, and tears (literally and figuratively).
We still love our bold, funky paint colors. The hardwood floors that we refinished ourselves have held up remarkably well. I planted a garden and managed not to kill the plants. We're chipping away at the landscaping which was minimally maintained for probably close to 10 years, but suffice to say that it looks a heck of a lot better compared to when we bought the place.
Our projects for this summer are more landscaping, to paint the exterior of the house and garage as well as gut the bathroom. I hope we're not getting in over our heads....
I feel like I'm failing miserably at saying what I want to say. Our house is the healing place I'd hoped for, and so much more.